A two-hour episode that includes Cathy? Why do you keep doing this, “Dance Moms”? Why?! To add insult to injury, the Abby Lee Dance Company got seventh place last week, so we know Abby will be in a foul mood. This episode certainly had its low points—but it ended on a very high note. Read on for my three most AWKWARD and AWESOME moments.
AWKWARD: As expected, all things Candy Apples. The all-boys team is doing a piece choreographed by Anthony Burrell, which is cool. But it’s even cooler that Burrell’s not afraid to put annoying-beyond-belief Cathy in her place. Just when I think she can’t get any worse, Cathy has a ceremony (which almost no one comes to) to show off the new tacky artwork on the front of her studio . After Cathy makes a cheesy announcement, the crowd literally makes Vivi dance like a monkey for their entertainment. It’s hard to watch.
AWESOME: Nia’s on top of the pyramid and gets to star in the group number! The routine is about Rosa Parks, so Abby decides to get a really intense spray tan. Nia takes her role seriously, and she even gives a presentation about why Parks made history. The routine looks fabulous. But when Brooke totally chokes, I’m worried she may be next on the suspended list. Nope: They still win first place and beat Candy Apples! You go girls!!!
AWKWARD: Chloe and Paige’s costumes. Basically, Chloe’s back on the pyramid, and to celebrate, Abby gives her a duet with Paige. (OK, she kind of gives it to her as a punishment, but as long as the girls are happy…) The girls’ costumes are incredibly inappropriate—just hot pink bras and ruffled panties connected by thin strips of black fabric, topped off with fishnets and gloves, of course. But “Broadway Blondes” is a smash hit in the end. (First place!) They grow up so fast, don’t they?
AWESOME: The solos! Kendall and Maddie are up this week. Kendall’s “Look At Me Now” is sassy, and all the work she puts into perfecting her faces really pays off. Maddie is dressed as Cinderella, which is kind of confusing, but her performance is phenomenal as usual. Kendall places second, and Maddie places first. Bing bang boom.
AWKWARD: Fashionista Abby tries to give Mom Holly a makeover. Not only is the shopping trip, which strangely includes Mom Jill, a big uncomfortable mess, but then the big reveal at the end of the episode shows an outfit pretty similar to what Holly usually wears—but with a loud zebra-print shawl on top. Classy, Abby. Very classy.
AWESOME: Mackenzie makes the most of being benched. We learn that Mackenzie does makeup tutorials online in her spare time (new obsession? yes!), so Abby appoints her the official makeup artist for the weekend. Can’t keep this girl down!
And now, the QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“I’m putting lip gloss on you to make you look luscious.” —Mackenzie
It’s a clean sweep, ladies and gentlemen. So Abby had better be in a good mood next week. Until then, let me know what you thought of this week’s episode in the comments.