“Dance Moms: Watch Your Back, Mack” Recap

Gotta admit, it's hard to stay on Team Mackenzie when Asia looks this cute.

Gotta admit, it’s hard to stay on Team Mackenzie when Asia looks this cute.

Asia Monet Ray Week has finally arrived! But including 7-year-old Asia in the Abby Lee Dance Company comes with another twist—Asia’s mom Kristie. We’ve already seen how awful this mom can be on “Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition.” Moms: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Here are my top three AWKWARD and AWESOME moments from last night’s show:

AWKWARD: Why are Cathy and Vivi still in the show’s intro? Every time I start to happily sing along with “living on the dance floor,” she completely kills my mood. On that note, Cathy’s back this episode spewing her usual nonsense. Every time she speaks a little piece of me dies.

AWKWARD: Abby goes to a taxidermist to have her dead dog, Broadway Baby, stuffed. Gross gross gross gross gross.

AWKWARD: Asia vs. Mackenzie. The moms think new kid Asia is out to steal Mackenzie’s spot—and the fact that Mackenzie is still on the injured list doesn’t exactly help. I refuse to believe it. Abby may make some strange decisions, but she’s not a complete idiot. Double the cuteness, double the fun, right? I think both munchkins are in it for the long haul. Besides, these two are totally different dancers: Mackenzie is smiley and precious and Asia is surprisingly fierce. But then, Abby choreographs a downright Mackenzie-esque solo for Asia (which, frankly, she doesn’t pull off the way Little Mac could have). But wait, what is Asia dressed as? A sexy snowman? A puppy? Oh my goodness, she’s Broadway Baby! Maybe Mackenzie should watch her back after all…

AWESOME: Kendall, Maddie and Chloe’s trio. What a great threesome! Their costumes are cute and they could not be more in sync. I say they were robbed of that first place title. Well danced, girls.

AWESOME: I may have held my breath for the entire group dance. After all, when Cathy’s in the room, the pressure on the ALDC triples. Though it wasn’t my favorite choreography in the world, the girls couldn’t have done a better, cleaner job. Even Abby thinks so, which is saying something.

"Will Dance for Food" = brilliant

“Will Dance for Food” = brilliant

AWESOME: It literally pains me to write this, but Cathy’s group dance was pretty darn captivating. She hired choreographer (and close friend of Abby) John Culbertson, and I fell in love with this all-boys routine as soon as I saw their little Newsies outfits. It makes me feel a little better that Cathy had absolutely nothing to do with it: She didn’t train these boys or choreograph the dance. They get a well-deserved perfect score, and I’m left wondering what these boys’ actual teachers—who are getting none of the credit they deserve—think about their big win.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“You’re committed to this studio for a year, and if you leave you owe [Abby] $100,000 cash.” —Mom Christi to new Mom Kristie

I guess we’ve finally answered the question of why the moms are putting their children through this. How do you think Abby spent the money she got from replacement Ally’s mom, Nicaya’s mom and Sophia Lucia’s mom? Oh right, she’s spending it on stuffing her dead dog.

Next week, we’ll see Chloe and Maddie go head to head. Until then, let me know what you thought of this episode in the comments!

 

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