“Dancing With The Stars” season 11 premiered last night, and we tuned in to catch every shimmy-shakin’ moment. Ever since the announcement of this season’s “stars” (please, someone tell us what qualifies one as a star, cough cough, Bristol Palin and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino), we’d been anxiously awaiting their debuts. So we settled in for the two-hour premiere. (Super-hot co-host Brooke Burke kicked things off in a cut-down-to-there dress that made sure she had everyone’s attention—especially my husband’s.)
Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani, Cha Cha
Audrina looked slammin’ in her barely-there costume, but Bruno said it right: “You’re a beautiful show pony that needs to be pushed to the limit and whipped into shape.”
Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Viennese Waltz
Reminiscent of last season’s Erin Andrews, Brandy is extremely hard on herself and unquestionably in it to win it. It was obvious she’d worked her tail off, but her Viennese Waltz was a little too strong and we felt the couple's chemistry was definitely lacking.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas, Cha Cha
If this painfully shy “teen activist” wants to stay in the competition, she is going to have stop saying “I can't,” “I'm not,” “I don't.” Yes you can Bristol! After she ripped off her all-buttoned-up, Sarah Palin-esque costume, we were pleasantly surprised to see the rockin’ legs she’d been hiding. Now just learn how to use them!
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas, Cha Cha
For 76 years old, this gal can move! We loved watching her work the dance floor with her skinny little legs and couldn’t stop laughing at her hilarious jokes. But please, Florence, do not flash us your sports bra again.
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough, Viennese Waltz
Is it just us, or is Derek SO Patrick Swayze? We absolutely loved Jennifer’s refreshing elegance and grace as she swept across the dance floor. She may be missing some of the technique, but she’s definitely got all the in-between.
Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel, Viennese Waltz
Oh dear. Where to start? Let’s just say that if they had been doing a Paso Doble all of Margaret’s scary faces and fabric waving might have made a little more sense. Instead, they were supposed to be doing a Viennese Waltz, and we were just left feeling confused and little bit scared.
David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson, Cha Cha
We’re not so sure “The Hoff” is as hot as he thinks he is. He was very stiff, he shuffled his feet around the floor the entire time (we’re pretty sure they never left the ground) and he creeps us out a little. We hate to break it to you, “Huff,” but your "Baywatch"-babe days are over and you’re no “sex bomb.”
Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya, Viennese Waltz
Okay: We’re in love with Kurt, his gorgeous wife and his adorable seven kids! We felt that he was surprisingly graceful and had great showmanship—and Carrie Ann and Bruno agreed with us. Len, what’s your deal? We think you’re jealous.
Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer, Cha Cha
Hands-down our favorite performance of the night! This Disney channel star is the ultimate performer—he can move, he’s a total ham and he looked like he was having the time of his life. Front-runner? We think so.
Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower, Viennese Waltz
As you all know, we absolutely adore Chelsie, but last night was a mini-disaster. Michael looked like a giant block of wood that Chelsie was dragging around the dance floor. He needs to loosen up, fix his posture and get his head in the game.
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff, Cha Cha
Okay, we’ll admit it: We thought The Situation was going to be an obnoxious mess. But, we’re happy to report that we actually kind of liked him. He has a LONG way to go, but for only five days of rehearsal (everyone else had had two weeks of practice before he returned from filming the "Jersey Shore") he did a pretty good job—and was totally entertaining.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke, Viennese Waltz
Of course Cheryl would be paired with the handsome athlete, but with their huge height difference, we almost feel bad for her. However, despite the height challenges, they actually pulled off a decent performance. Rick was elegantly refined and obviously well-coached. Cheryl is undoubtedly doing something right.
With The Situation, David Hasselhoff and Margaret Cho in a three-way-tie at the bottom of the pack, tonight’s results show ought to interesting. Our prediction: Goodbye Margaret and Louis. Who do you think is going home tonight? Who were your favorites? Let us know! And check back tomorrow for our recap of the results show...