OK, I'll try to make this quick. After last night's show, I can't stop thinking about Bristol Palin dancing around in a gorilla suit. I will not be surprised if that was her last dance on the show. But of course, we've got an hour of filler to get through before we find out everyone's fate. On with the recap...
The first couple safe is Kyle and Lacey. Yay!
Then we find out that the monkeys—AKA Bristol and Mark—are safe, too. Say whaaaa?! Later on, backstage, Brooke says to Bristol, "You messed up some steps last night. Did you really expect to be dancing again?" In other words, "Hey Bristol, everyone assumed you'd be going home."
Next we see Brandy and Maks perform their "Friends" routine again. I really don't like that "DWTS" does this. We just saw the routine 25 hours ago! More guest performances, please!
All throughout the show we're "treated" to weird, phony-DVD promotion/infomercial things. I don't even know how to describe them. But the first one is for "Bring It Like Bruno," a faux-fitness DVD with Bruno and his "assistants," Lacey and Mark. It's making me uncomfortable. Just like the monkeys.
The first guest performance of the night is Jason Derulo singing "In My Head." I dig this song and his backup dancers are pretty great. Lots of booty popping and hip swiveling.
Time to find out the fate of more couples: Brandy and Maks are safe, and Jennifer and Derek are in jeopardy. This prompts my boyfriend, who is begrudgingly watching the show with me, to say "That's Jennifer Gray? That's Baby from Dirty Dancing?!" He didn't recognize her—but then again, he also thinks Len Goodman and Nigel Lythgoe are the same person. So yeah.
Next up, we meet a family in the audience with an inspirational story. The five sons came from the Congo with their mom after their father was assassinated. It's all very sad, but it ends with the adorable boys giving a surprise performance (the cha cha cha!) on the show for their mom, accompanied by Lacey, Kym, Chelsie, Karina and Anna. Adorable!
Kurt and Anna are safe. Rick and Cheryl are in jeopardy.
David Hasselhoff does a weird infomercial now. Everything about this week makes me feel weird.
Now Shakira is performing. She. Is. So. Hot. Girl's got some awesome abs and she's right—her hips most certainly do not lie. Weighing in via GChat, DS editor Michael Bailey says, "okay, okay, Shakira and her dancers are hot..."
Jason Derulo performs again, singing "Georgia On My Mind" alongside some lovely dancers.
Audrina and Tony are safe. Florence and Corky are in jeopardy.
Jennifer and Derek are safe.
Florence and Corky are eliminated. So sad to see Mrs. Brady go. And my grandmother (we call her Honey) weighs in via email re: Florence's elimination:
"Wow! I'm completely bewitched, bothered and bewildered with tonight's results. How do you explain the 2 lowest scoring couples staying on the show. Something's not right. I have a headache from shaking my head over this, so I'm going to bed."
On that note, tune in next week for "Rock Week Spectacular" (which could actually be kind of awesome, a la Rock of Ages).