Well, it's '80s Night on "Dancing with the Stars," which feels fitting, since time is a construct and we'd all rather pretend it's any year other than the dumpster fire one we're trapped in! Too dark? Okay, moving on.
Last night's episode of "DWTS" was incredible, if only for one reason: wigs. We have never seen such a proliferation of wig-fabulousness before on "DWTS"—almost every couple was outfitted with at least one over-the-top, '80s-inspired wig. Our wigs? Snatched. But besides the wigs, there was lots of fabulous dancing. In case you missed last night's episode (or if you were too busy doing background for tonight's "Bachelorette" premiere), we rounded up the highlights.
Jeannie Mai and Brandon Armstrong: Jazz
Say what you want about Jeannie Mai, but you can't say that this girl isn't having fun. We honestly can't get through a single performance by Jeannie and partner Brandon Armstrong without a big stupid smile—this duo just seems like they're having the best time. Carrie Ann Inaba even called Jeannie the "most exciting performer," and all three judges gave Jeannie and Brandon 8s, for a total 24.
Kaitlyn Bristowe and Artem Chigvintsev: Tango
Kaitlyn Bristowe, gettin' nerdy. We simply love to see it. This couple delivered a fierce, fabulous tango that we couldn't get enough of—complete with a totally unexpected break-dancing dance break (try saying that five times fast). The judges gave Kaitlyn and partner Artem Chigvintsev three 9s, for a total 27.
Johnny Weir and Britt Stewart: Contemporary
It's always a challenge for "DWTS" couples tasked with performing the first contemporary dance of the season. But pro figure skater Johnny Weir was decidedly up to the challenge. From his graceful movement quality to his emotional delivery, plus some serious technique (we saw that gorgeous grand rond de jambe at 0:25, Johnny!), we were absolutely amazed by Johnny's performance alongside partner Britt Stewart. The judges gave the duo two 10s (!) and a 9, for a total score of 29.
Sadly, no "DWTS" episode is complete without the elimination of one of our much-beloved stars. (Though we have to say, the elimination ceremony was made much more enjoyable by the presence of the wigs. There's nothing better than dancers trying to look serious while outfitted in a mullet.)
Vernon Davis and Peta Murgatroyd ended up in jeopardy alongside Jesse Metcalfe and Sharna Burgess. Sadly, all three judges chose to send Jesse and Sharna home. We're sad to see
John Tucker Jesse go. However, we'll gladly take his elimination as an excuse to stream John Tucker Must Die yet again.